You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
