she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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