need another drink. this is the easiest way
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
