No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need help removing her.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
