why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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