My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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