he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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