seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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