i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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