Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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