Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
