Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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