we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
