on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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