I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
