it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
