Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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