hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
