so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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