You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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