if you like me you must not know who I am
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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