hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
