around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
