What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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