I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
