You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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