guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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