I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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