He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
