So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
