i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize