so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
