it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My feet surprised me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
