At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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