So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
