just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
