i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
