Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
