Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
