Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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