Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize