Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
