Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
