when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
