We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My pussy is not your playground.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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