I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize