i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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