she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
