That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
