i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
