never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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