Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
