Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
