if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
