Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
