she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
