Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
