just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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