And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
