just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
