Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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