Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
