let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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