you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize