And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
